SELF-ASSESSMENT IS PEACE

HOW TO SELF-ASSESS YOUR LIFE

Life is like mathematics: once you fail to calculate well, you will get a wrong answer (Unknown Author, 2012); therefore, you will fail. See self-assessment like mathematics where a calculator is used to calculate for the right answer for you to succeed in life. To be able to use some calculators (scientific calculators) you must first of all learn how to use them. Therefore, there are some skills or ways that you need to know in order to do effective self-assessment. During self-assessment, be frank with yourself, be ready to accept any mistake or outcome that you might have identified. See self-assessment as an eraser that you can use to erase/correct certain mistakes in your life. You can also see it as a measuring jar/cylinder that you can use to measure your achievements in life; this will help you appreciate what God has done for you and glorify Him. To have an effective self-assessment, you must first identify your status in life, where you want to be from there, and the area(s) that you want to assess yourself.

I have ever posted about loneliness on my Facebook's wall, group, and page (11.06.14, 01.05.18). Spending time alone is very important during self-assessment! Loneliness, though, generally is known as a bad thing; you can never have a perfect self-assessment without sitting down alone somewhere to have a reflection of your life. “With deep reflection you will see why you are going through the situation or challenges” (Joshua, 2018).  But, Ghulam et al., (2017) found out that: "Self-esteem and loneliness have significant relationship", confirming that loneliness is bad.

Fathiannisa Hadi, (2017) had a different opinion of loneliness. In her answer: "Trying to help with my experience" to a question by quora.com, "Is loneliness bad for your life?"; she said: “I feel free to express myself when I’m alone". She added: "I love loneliness". Loneliness indeed is not good but sometimes we need to spent time alone to reflect on our lives for what to do next or correct.

There are three types of loneliness when we are talking about the “normal” types of loneliness amongst the general public (Peplau & Perlman, 1981): we have a loneliness where the person has difficulty keeping social relationship with others; there is also a subjective form of loneliness that is not necessarily about the person objectively isolating him/herself, and people can be alone without feeling (being) lonely; we have an unpleasant and distressful loneliness. I am talking about the second type of loneliness where people can be alone without feeling lonely. One of the ways you can be alone without feeling lonely is to make yourself busy trying to self-assess your life.

Moustakas, (1961), in “Forms and Measurement of Loneliness in Social Psychology of Loneliness” confirmed that existential loneliness is inevitable in human’s experience and a time of self-confrontation that provides opportunity for self-growth. He added that, loneliness can lead to pain, likewise; it results in triumphant creativity. This creativity is as a result of self-assessment! We may need some people to help us during self-assessment, but it’s necessary to find a quiet place somewhere to sit down alone and assess ourselves before meeting them. Self-assessment is PEACE, as it is left with just some few days for the year to end; you should never forget to self-assess your life. Because of the importance of self-assessment, it can be done at every moment of one’s life, especially; at the beginning, middle, and end of the year.

Sit down and take a critical look at your current situation(s) in life! What are the good and bad moments in your past and present? What did you do to get those good moments: what did you do and had those bad moments? Now, think of what you should have done better and learn from your bad moments. This will help you to identify your challenges and opportunities (Moustakas, 1961) in life. “Your challenges are your school of lessons. When challenges are not well managed, they will be thrown back and reappear as life time challenges” (Joshua, 2018). In whatever area you assess yourself, identify and deal with your challenges to help build you up for opportunities (Moustakas, 1961) in your life. 2018 might have been a bad or good year, but how can you make 2019 a good or a better year? So, during self-assessment; reflect on your previous and current situations in life and how you can turn things around for a better, peaceful and happier life.

The following are some of the ways that you can self-assessed yourself.

v  Spend time alone to reflect on your Personal Life in General,

Ø  Find out your Interest Areas in Life;

ü  What do you do often during your leisure/free time (What do you do for fun)?

ü  What are your likes and dislikes?

v  Find out How Your Environment Affects Your Life.

Ø  Your Family Life,

Ø  Your Educational Life,

Ø  Your Working Environment,

Ø  Your Political Environment,

Ø  Your Religious Environment,

Ø  Your Relationship with Others, and so on.

v  Identify and Self-Assess Your Skills or Talents,

v  Identify Your Main Purpose in Life and How to Fulfill It.

They are grouped under three major headings as:

v  External Environment,

v  Internal Environment, and

v  Dreams.

A life without a purpose is a hopeless life; and hopelessness is a threat to personal, family, national and internal peace. Do not ask me why? I don’t want to say that if one values his/her life and that of others, he/she would not commit suicide bombing. Those who are convincing you to do suicide bombing, why can’t one of them volunteer since they also want to go to heaven? Only hopeless people will think that killing themselves to kill others will send them to heaven and it is better! Use self-assessment and prayer to identify your purpose in life, this will give you hope and peace.
Thank you for Reading!

References

Chris Nickson. (Last Updated, 18^th May 2016). Lessons from Osler 004: Treat patient, not the disease. Retrieved from https://lifeinthefastlane.com/lessons-from-osler-004/

Ghulam, I., Vicar, S., & Omar, K. (2017). Relationship between self-esteem and loneliness among university students living in hostels. International Journal of Research Studies in Psychology. 6(2): 21-27. Doi: 10.5861/ijrsp.2017.1735.

Hadi, F. (2017). An Answer to the question: “Is loneliness bad for your life?”. Retrieved on 25.09.18 at 11:50PM from https://www.quora.com/Is-loneliness-bad-for-your-life.

Joshua, T., B. (2018). A sermon given by T. B. Joshua at the Synagogue Church of All Nations (SCOAN). Retrieved from Green TV on 14^th October 2018 at 11:28AM.

Moustakas, C., E. (1961). Loneliness. New York: Prentice-Hall.

Peplau, A., & Perlman, D. Toward a Social Psychology of Loneliness. In chapter Two of Duck, B., & Gilmour, R. (1981). Personal Relationships in Disorder. Academic Press. 32-33.

Unknown Author. (23.02.2012). “Life is like mathematics. We all want to have the right answer at the end but for that we need to know what to add, where to subtract, how to multiply and when to divide.”. Retrieved from https://boardofwisdom.com/togo/Quotes?mgsgid=491120 on 21.11.18 at 2:30AM.